Have you ever had a goal you really wanted to achieve but something held you back from committing and taking action? This was a realization a client recently had. She really wanted to lose weight, knew the steps it would take to make it happen and was finally ready. However, after months of sabotaging her efforts and increasing frustration, she was wondering what was holding her back. In the end she realized one of the biggest reasons was the fear of losing weight!
What will happen if she ends up having too much loose skin?
What if she puts in all of this effort, loses the weight, and is still unhappy?
What if she loses her identity?
What if people think she’s shallow and is only into looks?
What would life be like at a smaller size?
Those are the real fears that were coming up for her. But, as with anything, it’s more complicated than just the fear of losing the weight. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a big piece of it. AND, there’s more to the story!
She noticed she could easily follow through with commitments to friends and family but for some reason she doesn’t follow through with commitments to herself. This is a pattern that happens not just around weight loss but other areas of self-care too, which made her wonder – why is she able to do things for others but not for herself?
Is it because her “why” isn’t strong enough? That was one thing she considered and realized the reasons she wants to lose the weight aren’t that motivating. Combine that with the fears and what a perfect storm for lots of resistance, lack of action and self-sabotage!
Some of the other things she discovered were:
- She actually feels safe in her current body because she has learned to live with it and is more certain with it than what could come with the weight loss.
- She knows how to work with where she is now and still has strength both mentally and physically at this size but she doesn’t know how she would be at a smaller size.
- She has been stuck in the all or nothing mindset and has been building up the amount of effort it will take to see results. Why start working towards it if she isn’t going to be all in?
- Losing weight feels like a big risk but she’s starting to realize it’s a slow moving risk and she doesn’t need to absorb the full risk today.
As you can see, there’s a lot of “weight” that has led to this client keeping on her weight. We’re working through it together to help bring clarity, reduce the resistance, shame and guilt so she can create space to start taking baby steps that will help her achieve her health, weight and wellness goals.
If you feel like you’ve been lacking willpower or discipline and that’s what’s keeping you from reaching your weight loss goals, there’s likely more to the story! If you’re ready to start digging in and putting the puzzle pieces together, let’s chat during a Curiosity Call. You’ll fill me in on your challenges with your relationship with food and will have a safe space to talk about what’s been swirling around in your mind. (There’s absolutely no charge for our first chat.)
Or, if you’re not ready for that step yet, download your free ‘get back on track’ guide to help get to the bottom of why your eating feels out of control.
Laura B. Folkes is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and is a Certified Holistic Health Coach. She supports busy adults who know what they should be eating but have a hard time sticking to it by helping them identify the familiar patterns that have been keeping them stuck so they can experience freedom from food. She ensures her clients don’t feel deprived by guiding them to make small, incremental changes so the journey is more enjoyable.
After successfully losing 60 pounds and working through her own emotional relationship with food, Laura recognizes there are many factors keeping individuals from sticking to what they know works but it’s her mission to help others overcome these factors to become healthier and happier.
Laura can be contacted at [email protected].
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